| Why do people stay in an abusive relationship? |
- Most of them love their partners. They only want the battering to stop.
- They are afraid of their abusers.
- They feel guilty and blame themselves for the violence.
- They have low self-esteem.
- They are usually isolated from family and friends.
- They are emotionally and / or financially dependent on their spouse or partner.
- They fail to realize they have a right not to be abused, and that help is available.
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| A fact to remember: |
| It is difficult to change the nature of a battering relationship. Once physical fighting begins in a relationship, the fighting increases in frequency and severity. |
| In almost every case, the battering situation will begin again once the victim returns. |
| Things you can do: |
| 1. Establish your own checking account, one separate from your spouse. |
| 2. Establish credit in your own name. |
| 3. Try to establish an emergency fund and add to it whenever possible. |
| 4. Make a list of important phone numbers. |
| 5. Keep copies of all important records (birth certificates, immunization records, insurance policies, car titles, bank account records, blank checks, mortgage information) with a friend or family member. |
| 6. Keep a suitcase packed in case you need to leave again in a hurry. You might also want to leave this with a friend or family member so that your spouse will not find it. |
| What to take when you leave: |
- Identification for yourself
- Driver’s license
- Children’s birth certificates
- Your birth certificate
- Money
- Bank books
- Check books
- Credit cards
- Insurance papers
- Keys
- EPO / DVO papers
- Medications for you and the children
- Small saleable items
- Address book
- Pictures
- Welfare identification
- Medical records
- Passport
- Divorce papers
- Jewelry
- Children’s favorite toys or blankets
- School records
- Clothing
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